And then that happened

Another long work weekend is finished. Or it would be if I didn’t have a staff meeting to go. I don’t look forward to staff meetings. Maybe I would if this were a different place, but it’s not. I rant often enough about it in real life that it’s a little pointless to do it on my blog, but geez. Have you ever been so unhappy at a place, but didn’t have anything else lined up so you couldn’t leave? That’s about where I am. I don’t want to leave completely just yet, but my goal for the end of this year is to have a new job by January. I’ve been where I am for three years. If all goes well and I achieve my goal, it will be 3.5 years that I’ve been with this company. That’s not too bad. It’s the longest paid position I’ve ever held. I’ve learned a lot about myself and people. I’ve learned new skills. I’ve made really good friends. But, I’m ready to go now. So, my job search continues. I’m in contact with a few temp agencies, even been on a few interviews this year, but to no avail. The worst experience was when I thought I was going for an interview with a place, but they only wanted me to fill out an application and said “Ok, well, we’ll call you.” How do people with absolutely no job get through it? The job search can be so discouraging.

This week has been so bad I actually went out and bought a pack of cigarettes. I don’t smoke cigarettes. I rarely smoke anything! For a while, I had two e-hookah pens. Those were nice. No ash or tar, just water vapor, smoke, and a little hit of nicotine. But no, last night just took the cake. I’ve already smoked 3.5 cigarettes. I started as soon as I got home from my day, which included 3.5 extra hours at work. I don’t plan on buying anymore, but that may change. I don’t really want to turn into that person who smokes all the time. Also, winter is coming (RIP Ned, Robb, and Catelyn Stark). The occasional cigarette is fine. I would prefer to get more e-hookah pens, but they’re so expensive. Hopefully, after I calm down a bit, I can go back to not smoking. See, and a few weeks ago, I was all, “I’m coping well with anxiety.” Not at all. I’m trying to cope well with anxiety.



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