This is what I felt like for two weeks as I finished up my classes.
This past semester was not my best. Sure, I passed with an A and an A-, but I don’t feel good about it. Admittedly, I worked for those grades, but I didn’t do it well, nor did I do it with my customary grace under pressure. I was a whiny bitch.
In the one class, my readers’ advisory class which I loved, I completely missed two assignments, and I couldn’t post on the listserv like I was supposed to. The two missed assignments were 1pg papers evaluating book discussions that I participated in. Why didn’t I just write those stupid papers immediately after the discussions? My excuse is because it was midnight and I had to be up at 7am the next day, both times. But truthfully, though I was tired, I could have done them. Then, I just kept forgetting. New responsibilities at work, a group project in the class from hell, the RA books that had to be read for the posts that had to be done. Truthfully, I just could not keep track of those little one page m-fers. The listserv is a well-respected RA tool in library land, and I followed the directions to post, but I just could not do it. I even had questions that I wanted to ask the list, but no matter what I did, from my personal or my work email, it just would not work. I even emailed the administrators, but they never answered me. I got an A, a solid A in that class. I loved that class; it made me better, but I don’t feel good about my grade. LOVE the professor, though. Dr. Bodart is the bees knees.
In the other class, ugh. My YA services class, aka the class from hell, started out on the wrong foot. I opened the course outline and it was highlighter blue writing on sunshine yellow background. Asked the professor for a plain, black and white version, and he made it seem like I asked him to reformat the entire 60 page document. Yeah. Eleven 150 word abstracts, which did not have to be in complete sentences, were graded as one assignment. If you missed the deadline on any one of them, the grade was automatically a zero. A big honking zero. Bless you, Desirée, for teaching me how to write abstracts in undergrad, because I would not have made it without that skill with complete sentences. Though these were 100 words shorter, I am still grateful for having had experience in writing them before this class. The one thing I did like about this assignment was the lightning round. For one abstract, instead of a word submission, we had to post a 1 minute audio abstract. I did mine somewhere in the middle, but that one was fun. I did not appreciate the professors condescending attitude and his insistence that everything would make sense if we just read the instructions. I READ INSTRUCTIONS 15 TIMES, no lie, AND NOT ONE BIT OF IT EVER MADE SENSE. He would use one page essays, 500 words, to introduce the abstract topic. The group project instructions came in a 4 page essays. His comments on assignments, 85% unhelpful. He was vague and condescending and we were never really sure what he wanted. Speaking of group projects, I had the best group experience to date. My group ladies were awesome. Mary and Tricia were really fun to work with, had wonderful attitudes, and didn’t take it too badly when I spaced out in our final meeting because I was so done with the class. We ended up with a perfect score on the assignment, but I’m not sure why. He made it seem like the purpose of the project was not what the actual project but the process of being in group on a project on a five-week deadline. And if that was the case, I don’t understand why he kept trying to make it seem like our working rules and roles and how we processed the project together weren’t good enough. They made sense to us; we agreed on them. What more did he want from us? I still don’t know.
I whined and ranted and raved my way through 17 weeks of hell. He made me hate YA services, and that was hard to do. He made me hate wanting to do professional development stuff related to YA services because of the chance I might run into him. I still love teens. I still love working with teens. But he has made me question what I thought I wanted to do with a portion of my career in Library and Information Sciences. Because of him, and other factors, I passed on a YA job that opened up in my library. I still don’t know how I feel about that, not completely, but I did it, and a large part of me blames him. I got an A-, and honestly, that is the best I could do. I hated him. I hated the class. The fact that I got an A at all is a testament to my fortitude and willpower, because I was so willing to take an L and either withdraw from the class or completely skip the final assignment and fail. The one thing stopping me was that it would drag my GPA down. I am three semesters away from graduation, and I will not let some asshole, condescending, blowhard ruin my straight A/A-, 3.9 grad school GPA.
When I turned it that final assignment, I was so done.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! Because the class from hell went two weeks past the end of the semester, I only got one week between spring and summer classes. My summer classes start today.
So, what is happening in the summer semester, you ask? First up, an LGBTQ services class that I have really been looking forward to for a long time. It was up in the air whether or not it would be coming around in time for me to take it, but it is and I could not be more excited for it. Second, is a web 2.0 class, which will look at all the ways librarians can harness the power of social media and such. I’m actually really looking forward to this class too, especially since social media is now part of my job description. I now run the YA and main Twitter accounts for my library. Technically, there are two other people on the team…but yeah. Those accounts are my babies, and I’m excited to have them and grow them and engage with our community on the interwebs.
Also, I have become heavily involved with programming at my library. I have three programs this month. The first is a musical performance by the Southern Maryland Flute Choir on 6/3. The second is a rhyming workshop for teens on 6/23. The third is a two parter, my baby that I have been gestating for months since November. Seriously, I am about to give birth to the first LGBTQ Resource Fair and Day of Understanding on 6/27. I am proud of my work, and nervous as hell. I have groups coming in from all over the state as well as DC. I have a speaker and a performer. I have a month-long display up that I will change every week featuring LGBT books, fiction and nonfiction. I created #CCPLPrideWeek for the week of the program, because we have an LGBT Book Discussion that week as well, on 6/24. We will be reading Ash by Malinda Lo, a retelling of Cinderella. Maybe next year, we can make it a whole week. Do one program per day on a different topic. But I’m getting off track. The hashtag is for the Twitter pages, where I will tweet articles, artwork, books, and other queer awesome things for that entire week. It also happens to be the week that ALA will be in San Francisco for ALA Annual, and it coincides with SF Pride festivities. It’ll be great. (This is what I keep telling myself).
Welp, that’s all for now. If you want more information on any of the programs I mentioned, go to www.ccplonline.org and click the rotating events in the center of the page.